Section 1.1. We, the people of the free sovereign and inalienable nation of Scotland do hereby express and enact our collective will through this written Constitution.
Please scrutinise all the proposed amendments and replies before commenting or voting. Short comments are most often read and must not exceed 100 words. You can propose an Amendment at the bottom of this page - please read the guidelines .
Note that the original wording appears again first below and sustains the same comment & voting regime as all other amendment proposals.
Section 1.1. Section 1.1. We, the people of the free sovereign and inalienable nation of Scotland do hereby express and enact our collective will through this written Constitution.
Section 1.1. There's no mechanism on this site for comments on an article (or on the draft constitution) as a whole, so I'm going to put my general comments on this article under section 1. It seems to me that the article, which has a long and somewhat rambling title, would be clearer if split into several articles, each dealing with a specific aspect, namely: The nation of Scotland, The national territory, Citizenship, and Voting rights. I'm not convinced that residency and immigration are a matter for the constitution but, if they are, I don't think they belong here.
Section 1.1. I now comment specifically on section 1. This is a fine statement, but it could be simplified. "Hereby" and "through this written Constitution" repeat each other. "Written" is unnecessary, since the constitution is self-evidently written. "Free, sovereign and inalienable" are splendid words, but do not mean much in practice (especially "inalienable"). They could be omitted, or replaced simply by "independent". "Express and enact" is a phrase which smacks of impressive legalese, but do two verbs really add anything? I propose a simplified version below.
Section 1.1. Intro to the constitution is way too long winded. Meaningless in parts and exclusive in others. I would propose: We, the sovereign peoples of Scotland, do hereby enact for all time coming, our fundamental rights as expressed in the Constitution of Scotland.
Proposed Amendments to Section
Please scrutinise all the proposed amendments and replies before commenting or voting. Short comments are most often read and must not exceed 100 words.
You can propose an Amendment at the bottom of this page - please read the guidelines .
Note that the original wording appears again first below and sustains the same comment & voting regime as all other amendment proposals.
Original Version
Section 1.1. Section 1.1. We, the people of the free sovereign and inalienable nation of Scotland do hereby express and enact our collective will through this written Constitution.
Section 1.1. There's no mechanism on this site for comments on an article (or on the draft constitution) as a whole, so I'm going to put my general comments on this article under section 1. It seems to me that the article, which has a long and somewhat rambling title, would be clearer if split into several articles, each dealing with a specific aspect, namely: The nation of Scotland, The national territory, Citizenship, and Voting rights. I'm not convinced that residency and immigration are a matter for the constitution but, if they are, I don't think they belong here.
Section 1.1. I now comment specifically on section 1. This is a fine statement, but it could be simplified. "Hereby" and "through this written Constitution" repeat each other. "Written" is unnecessary, since the constitution is self-evidently written. "Free, sovereign and inalienable" are splendid words, but do not mean much in practice (especially "inalienable"). They could be omitted, or replaced simply by "independent". "Express and enact" is a phrase which smacks of impressive legalese, but do two verbs really add anything? I propose a simplified version below.
Section 1.1. Intro to the constitution is way too long winded. Meaningless in parts and exclusive in others. I would propose: We, the sovereign peoples of Scotland, do hereby enact for all time coming, our fundamental rights as expressed in the Constitution of Scotland.
Section 1.1. Section 1.1 is an excellent preamble of the Constitution and doesn't require alteration or addition.
Proposed Amendment to Section 1.1.
Simplification
Section 1.1. We, the people of the [independent] nation of Scotland, express our collective will in this Constitution.